Brady Bunch - "CHANGES"

Ugh, will I ever settle?  Probably not.

I was talking to Stewart and realised I've moved nearly 20 times in my life and have lost nearly all my possessions in the process.  Yeah, yeah.  Christians aren't supposed to be concerned about possessions and things of this world.  Totally agree.  Thing is, it seems as though, with every change and every purchase of new acoutrementes, I re-invent who "Anna" is.  Right down to the literal brass tacks.  Not so great, if you want to be living in a house on a solid foundation with the building constantly under construction!

The move to the UK has obviously unsetted me.  Faith knew something I didn't, though.  My "stick-to-itiveness" hasn't been the best.  And I never did accept her accurate analysis of my actions.  So, Faith, if you're reading this, Sister, reply!!!  And quick.  Because I want to say a bit "PLEASE FORGIVE ME!"

Anyway, what's brought this all on will be explained shortly.  I know, I'm a big tease on XANGA.  But I WILL be back shortly to further explain the madness.

Love you guys!

Currently Listening Casting Crowns By Casting Crowns see related

Well, here's so far:

Stewart and I are in a crisis, financially.  Again.  It all has to do with us believing God will provide through my new job and not seeing any fruit of it - yet.  My leaders know this is the right thing to do, believe for funding and be full time with Traders, it's just that we haven't seen any finances come out of it except for the first £500 over a month ago.  And I don't know how much longer we can hold out.

Stewart had a session with a debt counsellor and we are only bringing in a third of what we need just now.  Stewart's salary is set for the next while as the shop gets up and running.  So he won't be getting a raise anytime soon to be at the earning level he should be at.  Now when we haven't seen any other finances coming, God hasn't given us the go-ahead to sell our house so we can save on gas getting to Stewart's work, and our bills are scaring my poor husband bald...  It gets hard.

And it's Christmas... 

My poor, dear, wonderful husband wants so much to give me the best, as do I, but it hurts him more than me because he feels like he isn't providing well for his wife, for his family.  His biggest worry is over my visa which comes under review in April.  If it is showing we are defaulting on any loans or bills, it could jeopardize my staying in Scotland.  THIS PRAYS HEAVILY ON HIS MIND!!! 

As if he wasn't stressed enough, he is worrying about us having a family.  While we are going through fertility treatment or have been trying to sell our house in the last 6 months, we can't even think about becoming foster parents!  I told Stewart I didn't want to try (on either account) anymore and want to start fostering children who need a good home NOW not wait until after we've had our own child first.  Especially after I heard about a couple of our kids from Traders were getting beaten up by their parents and then by a mob of guys...  So, we prayed about it and discussed it and decided that if we aren't pregnant this time (which we will find out on Christmas day, of all days!) then we are going to come off fertility treatments, get our house sorted out and ready for foster kids, and do the work God has put into both our hearts.

All well and good, you may think!  But try doing all this when you are beginning in a ministry, the shop is still  unsteady, our finances are RUBBISH and ....  And...  We are both terrified.

Xanga, I love to complain to you.  And to anybody else reading.  Now I want to CELEBRATE.  TO SHOUT FOR JOY!!!  So - help bring about a miracle!

And back again!  Don't know if anyone checks this anymore, but that's alright.  It's good to be back, Xanga, even if no one reads me!

Well!  I have my dream job, finally, getting paid working with youth!  And it's with an organisation newly re-started (long story) and a fantastic leader, Betty Crawford - aka Lady Crawford!  She's absolutely lovely and has such a heart for God.  Want to know something really funny and cool?  She's a GRANDMOTHER!  Though she seems more like a teenager herself, with her enthusiasm and stamina!

I started, technically, just a couple of weeks ago but had been volunteering for a few months.  God gave me the go ahead and now I'm getting paid!!!!!!!!         Kinda.....

The "Kinda" means I need to find funding for my position.  This means fundraising!  You better believe every person I know will be getting a newsletter, soon enough, with an addressed return envelope!  Mom has graciously said she would be my manager from the US and handle the finances from where she's at.  So, less costs absorbed by posting and mailing things. 

The hard part?  Asking everyone I know if they will help me fulfill God's vision for my life by paying for it....  I hate asking for money.  I hate asking for anything, frankly.  But I have come to the realisation that it isn't for me to deny someone else the blessing of investing into God's Kingdom - whether through me or through another avenue.  Still, it's hard to ask everyone who has ever known me (GOOD AND BAD ME) to see what God is doing with my life and get behind me, support me in doing what He wants me to do.

We'll see.  That's all I can say!

Oh, and still not pregnant yet.  Had a scare where they thought it could be cancer but God took care of that RIGHT AWAY.  I've been diagnosed with POS - Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.  Basically means treatment is pregnancy!  No problem, except POS hinders me from GETTING pregnant....  Again, God will have to take care of this!

Anyone reading this?  Please pray.  For a child.  For the ministry God has gotten me involved in.  For my personal finances.  For my marriage.  For my new country - they especially need it.

More later!

LOVE YA!!!!!!

Update from Crazy Land

Yep!  Crazy Land!

Just arrived on the latest Gravy Boat and back into the looney bin for work!

Thank you to all those I got to see this past week for how wonderful they were.  It was good to see friendly faces again.  For those of you I didn't get to see - I love you and miss you.  Time was just too short to do everything I wanted to do, people to see, etc.

Well, my grandmother passed away two Wednesday's ago.  Yes, sad but also lots and lots of good things came of it.  (More later.) So that's why I went home. 

MORE LATER!  AT WORK!

Ouch

Sorry, guys.  I know I haven't been blogging lately.  And when you see why, you'll understand.

Remember all the health stuff?  Yeah, well it's gotten a whole lot worse.  They aren't saying much, those darn doctors, but they are testing for endometriosis or ovarian cancer.  I should have a better idea after I see my doctor next week.  (There were a few tests run last week.)

Everything else has gone really well, though.  The shop is up an running and, while not making what it needs to yet, it WILL!    And we are going to be moving soon to the Isle of Cumbrae and its only town, Millport.  After this whole health scare thing came up, then we decided we wanted to move to a place where we both fell in love with - Millport.  Stewart has wanted to live there since he can remember, his great-grandmother having left his family a holiday flat we go to about once a month.  It's not far from work and we are hoping to get a flat right on the shore with views out onto the ocean.  The community in Millport is also very tightly knit and lovely. 

We have been going through a lot financially, physically, and spiritually.  Change is good but that doesn't mean it won't hurt, right?  Never more true than now.